Monday, 21 December 2009

Bring It On

2010 is fast approaching. As is usual at the end of a year, I've been doing a lot of thinking about where I am in my life. But this year I'm realising how far I am from where I want to be, and worse, how unsure I am of where it is I do want to be.

The most important thing I do know now, is that there is no pay off for me playing it safe. I need to do something that is worthy of my time and effort. I want to make a difference with what I do, in some way, otherwise what am I working for? And without this challenge and integration of values, I just end up miserable, constantly trying to find time to jam everything important to me into my "spare time" instead of including it in my life.

It's so easy to get cozy somewhere, stuck in a safe little rut, doing the same things every day while thinking and talking big and saying what I'd like to do someday. It's time I stop living like this. I don't want to talk big, I want to live big.

As of today I'm no longer playing safe.

I don't know exactly what this means for me yet. At this moment it feels like I need a complete change of direction, and the courage and commitment to actually go through with it without going, "Oh, but.... it's so haaard......."

The whining, complaining part of me says, "But whyyyyy do I have to do this? I only just finished my degree! Let me rest! Let me sleepwalk through life a little first, it's less scary." But the rest of me is becoming stronger, and saying, "No no no no no. No more. No more wasting life on things that are pointless and life-leaching."

I have ideas about what I would like to do and I'm spending the next couple weeks fine-tuning and looking at options. After that..... I'm ready. Bring It On.

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