Friday, 25 September 2009

Moving, plans, and writing.

I can't believe it's been over three weeks since I left my room in London. It's gone so fast.

I'm still not sure where I will be living a month from now, or a few weeks, who knows. Back and forth, here and there. I'm still house hunting, but calmer and less frustrated than I was.  The perfect place is just around the corner I'm sure. In the meantime I get to spend some time with my family for once. I've been working some overtime and sorting out all the stuff in my room that I haven't touched in the three years I've been at uni, getting ready to make the next move easier.

I watched Julie & Julia with my mum on Wednesday. For once there's a film where the people involved don't succeed due to some big windfall or unlikely contacts, but through hard work and determination. I'm in a business where "It's not what you know, it's who you know," is like a mantra, repeated whenever anyone discusses their (or my) future in the industry. At times it begins to feel like if that's the case there's no point, I don't want to spend my life waiting for a lucky break.

I've decided that now is a good time to ignore every thought of lucky breaks and start working on my skills. I'm going to make it big in some way or other, and I'm going to do it under my own steam. If people decide to help me along the way, it'll simply increase my momentum.

Focus is something I need to work on. There is so much I want to do, and when I try to do it all I end up weak and diluted and doing nothing well. So I'm going to focus on one thing at a time. Firstly writing.

Yesterday I made a new plan. I want to push myself for once, instead of just talking about the wonderful things I could do if I tried. It's my plan, starting.. uumm. in the next few days, to write 1000 words a day for a year. I give myself permission to not expect it all to be amazing, instantly publishable work of genius, but 1000 words a day can't fail to stretch my writing and observational muscles whether or not all the writing is actually good. Oh, and I still want to do Nanowrimo as far as wordcount is concerned. I won't necessarily be writing a novel, but I'll write the 50,000 words in November.

I'm a little scared of posting this here, it means that if in a month or so it gets as hard to keep going as I suspect it might, I can't pretend I never started in the first place. Eep.

Friday, 18 September 2009

Sometimes...

…you reach that point when it’s simply impossible for things to get any worse.

Trudging, cold and drenched, to Euston station at night in monsoon-style rains with shoes so full of water that they both squelched and sloshed at the same time, after a slightly hysterical day at work while being lied to and avoided by estate agents, knowing that the car had broken down and we had no lift on the other end of the train journey and faced either a 40 minute walk in the rain, or an extortionately priced cab-ride home… we reached that point. Becky and I kept telling each other, each time our shoes scooped up even more water from the rivers running down the pavement, that was the low point and everything simply had to get better…

Happily we were right. Things are looking up.