Friday, 5 December 2008

Diluted, dispersed, run dry.

I feel spread as thin as Marmite scraped across toast.

I have deadlines coming out of my ears, work is calling me every day to ask me to do yet more overtime I can't handle but can't afford to turn down, and the mess in my room is piling up to the ceiling because I can't find any free moments to spend tidying rather than extravagent things like, I don't know, getting a night's sleep.

I blink and another day is gone. I can't remember the last time I was home with my family for more than a night, and friends are texting to check I'm still alive. I'd swear it's only been a day or so since all this started, but news is starting to filter back to me about things I should not only have realised were happening, but should have been there for.

I feel like I've ceased to exist, like I'm so diluted by everything going on that I end up being useless in any situation I'm in. Running on automatic, barely conscious. I'm stressed at uni, tired at work, snappy and spacey with my friends - if I manage to make contact at all...

Another week until deadlines are over. After that I can breathe. I'll make sure of it... I can refuse extra overtime until I have caught up with myself, and with the precious people I've pushed away. Whatever it takes.

3 comments:

SillyBoy said...

"I feel spread as thin as Marmite scraped across toast."...? Truly, you are the Bilbo Baggins of the Marmite world!

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