Friday, 5 December 2008

Diluted, dispersed, run dry.

I feel spread as thin as Marmite scraped across toast.

I have deadlines coming out of my ears, work is calling me every day to ask me to do yet more overtime I can't handle but can't afford to turn down, and the mess in my room is piling up to the ceiling because I can't find any free moments to spend tidying rather than extravagent things like, I don't know, getting a night's sleep.

I blink and another day is gone. I can't remember the last time I was home with my family for more than a night, and friends are texting to check I'm still alive. I'd swear it's only been a day or so since all this started, but news is starting to filter back to me about things I should not only have realised were happening, but should have been there for.

I feel like I've ceased to exist, like I'm so diluted by everything going on that I end up being useless in any situation I'm in. Running on automatic, barely conscious. I'm stressed at uni, tired at work, snappy and spacey with my friends - if I manage to make contact at all...

Another week until deadlines are over. After that I can breathe. I'll make sure of it... I can refuse extra overtime until I have caught up with myself, and with the precious people I've pushed away. Whatever it takes.


SillyBoy said...

"I feel spread as thin as Marmite scraped across toast."...? Truly, you are the Bilbo Baggins of the Marmite world!

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