Thursday, 18 December 2008

Another year...

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass
it's about learning to dance in the rain."
Author Unknown

As 2007 rolled into 2008, I was too ridiculously busy to be able to pause and contemplate the change and what it meant to me. By the time I had the chance to look around me, the year was already several weeks old, reasonably well-established, and had lost its new-born vitality. I sense the same thing beginning to happen this year so I'm doing my "end of the old/start of the new" thinking now, while I have a moment or two to breathe.

During this past 12 months I have been through big, big ups and big downs at uni. Fun and stress, often at the same time. I started my first real job as a temp, made sure I was kept on permanently after Christmas, then moved on to become senior sales 10 months later. I went to Paris, my first self-planned trip in several years. I survived the production workload of at least 4 people during the summer semester, and came out stronger and wiser instead of a broken wreck. And plenty more. It's been a busy year.

To tell the truth though, when I let myself think about it, next year scares the hell out of me. This last year was nothing in hecticness compared to what is coming. I will be graduating in the summer with no idea yet of what to do next. My calender can only help me up until June, then it is merely a stack of blank pages stretching on into eternity. I want big and wonderful things in my future, I want more than a daily 9-5 job that just about makes ends meet. Most of the people I tell that to act as if it's a nice, albeit slightly naive, view of the world and I'll soon learn that that's not how things work in real-life. I refuse to give up the idea that it can, and will, work for me... but a big part of me is terrified that they're right.

I don't seem to have worked out what I want from 2009. I think I'm going to go off and think about that awhile, maybe it'll make me panic less. Actually, scary as it may be, it is kind of exhilarating to know it's about to be time to do something with my life at last. If I shoot for the moon, at the very least I should land somewhere in the proper general direction, then I can continue from there... right?

1 comment:

pen* said...

wow this new year that lies ahead of you holds such potential and meaning. i am excited for you! to have blank pages ahead for you to create whatever you wish is a real blessing. i have no doubts you will be inspired as the time unfolds before you...